Regret

I hide my feelings and I keep things to myself. It's my biggest flaw; I regret it so much.
I wish I was able to tell the guy I like, that I like him. Every time I start typing away what I want to tell him I end up backspacing the truth away. I wish I could yell it at the top of my lungs. I hate myself; why can't I be confident like those girls on T.V? It's fiction, but why can't it be reality? I have 8 months left to say something before we go our separate ways; before we walk across the stage and grab our diplomas. What then? I don't want to look back and regret it my entire life; I don't want it to linger in the back of my head, I don't want it to be my "what if..." in life. I think I'm also afraid of being rejected. I don't take rejection well; it depends on the situation. I don't expect to marry this guy, but you never know what life has in store for you. I just don't want to regret not saying anything.

Nothing Left but a Little Hope

Innocent souls walk the streets hopelessly,
waiting for sign from the heavens, to bring them out of their misery.
They try to find shelter,
 but they are cursed by the tears of the sky,
crying, full of pity.
They try to find food, but it is poisoned by the disease that have covered it.
They have lost all faith,
it will take a miracle to restore,
these souls, that lack of dignity, drying out quickly.
I look at the souls walking the streets,
I wish I could help, but my pockets are empty.
I fill of guilt and shame,
I have riches, but beg for more.
These souls have nothing,
Nothing to give and
Nothing to seek, yet they still live
They wait for a miracle, that might not ever come.

   - Cat Benitez

Top 10 Favorite Books

I've been reading lots of good books lately, so I had the need to post this list right now.

1. Stiff- Mary Roach

2. Blink- Malcolm Gladwell

3. The Great Gatsby- F. Scott Fitzgerald

4. Dreamland- Sarah Dessen 

5. It's Kind of A Funny Story- Ned Vizzini

6. The Babysitter- R.L Stine

7. Everything Is Illuminated- Jonathan Safran Foer

8. The Picture of Dorian Gray- Oscar Wilde

9. It's Complicated: The American Teenager

10. Let the Great World Spin- Colum McCann

Top 25 Favortie Songs

1. Tulips - Bloc Party

2. Charlie Brown - Coldplay

3. Strawberry Swing - Coldplay

4. P.D.A - John Legend

5. Life is Simple in the Moonlight - The Strokes

6. Automatic Stop - The Strokes

7. Primadonna - Marina and the Diamonds

8. Shelter - The XX

9. A Team - Ed Sheeran

10. Same Mistakes - One Direction

11. Sombras - Zoe

12. Paula - Zoe

13. You Only Live Once - The Strokes

14. Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve

15. Naive - The Kooks

16. 40 Day Dream - Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

17. Rock Your Body - Justin Timberlake

18. Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado ft.Timbaland

19. Miss You - Foster the People

20. Right Where You Want Me - Jesse McCartney

21. Glass - Julian Casablancas

22. Two Weeks - Grizzly Bear

23. Another One Goes By - The Walkmen

24. She's No You - Jesse McCartney

25. Flashback - Calvin Harris

Bittersweet Goodbye

I'm less than a week away from starting my senior year in high school, and its kinda nerve breaking. I'm really excited to see all my friends, and doing drill team, and doing all the cool senior stuff, but its my last year with all my friends, like I've known some of these people since i was 4 years old, elementary school , and middle school, and now i won't see them anymore. I know I'll make my lifetime friends in college and everything, but I love the friends I have right now and the thought that this is the last year I will see most of them is sad, and honestly makes me want to cry. I've met such great people throughout the years, friends that have such great personalities, and just are the best of friends anyone could ask for, its hard to imagine not seeing them everyday anymore. Its pretty rare that people stay friends with all their good friends from college. I wish that happened more frequently that everyone stay friends, no matter the distance, but life isn't like that, we each have our own separate paths to take, unfortunately those paths don't cross each other. That is what scares me about leaving Texas, that the chance is even greater that I won't talk to anyone anymore.
But I'm also happy that I'll be in college in a year, I've heard all crazy college stories from my friends on how fun college is and how much better it is than college. Just be careful with the partying and drinking, because bad stuff goes down. But most of all, I just want to be a doctor, or work in the medical field in any way possible, and publish a book!

♥ Cat

So far this year...

So 2012 has been good so far, except for the first 2 weeks.

My rabbit died. I cried for days non-stop. I was there with her when she died, she was tearing up and I was petting her to calm her down and then an hour later she past away. It was pretty devastating. She died January 2 at 1:37 am. I honestly can't even forget that time it's just stuck in my head.
I was sick those first two weeks in January. I had: a stomach virus, flu, bad cough, and horrible allergies.

But after those two weeks my life went back to normal. I got used to not coming home from school and having to feed my rabbit and then playing with her. That was weird at first. I looked for once at of habit and then broke down. But now I'm happy she past away, it was painful and but she so sick, and she would get better for a couple days and then it would get worse then before. Now she doesn't have to be in so much pain.

After I was better health wise, I could focus more on school. I'm doing pretty good right now. Lots of stuff coming up like, state testing, spring show, and my drivers test!!
I'm finally going to be a licensed driver at the end of this month! I'm so excited!!
Last weekend I went to Austin, Texas for German state competition. It was so much fun! We got 6th in sweepstakes!

That's pretty much it for now but I will definitely be back to blogging! There was so much going on it was hard to blog, but I'm back!

♥ Cat