One year of experience

I have one year of college under my belt and it was different, different from what I ever thought college was going to be. College was stressful. I never had time to stop and admire anything around me. I guess I shouldn't have expected so much, especially as a Cellular and molecular biology major. Quite the mouthful is it not? 

People say "College, now those are the years you remember!" Honestly, I think they were exaggerating. I kinda hope I don't remember it so far. I only told two people this but I miserable. And my grades reflected it. I don't want to go back at all, but I kinda have no choice I don't know where else to go. But if this second year goes just as bad, I'm gonna have to call it quits and transfer out. 

I wish I could say I had an amazing time, but I would be lying to you and most importantly, myself. I met great people don't get me wrong but it's not enough to make me happy. I cried like all the time, I have never been so unhappy and displeased with my life. I'm usually a go getter, optimistic, always laughing. Everything this year felt forced, a facade so people wouldn't ask me what was wrong. 

I'm scared about this second year, well more like completely terrified. I'm trying to not be, I want to look forward to this upcoming year, but it's hard. I really, really hope it goes well.